Shame, fear, doubt and anger are some of the emotions you have to deal with once you've come to accept unemployment as a reality. You're ashamed your friends and family blame you. You doubt you will ever be the same again. You're afraid of the future. These emotions can hide themselves behind anger. Anger can be expressed in various forms.
People vote the way they do for many reasons. Roy voted the way he did because he truly believed it was the right thing to do. At the time of the election he was unemployed but had a wife with a job, They are now both living on Welfare. He told me of his anger and feelings of betrayal. This poem reflects that.
If I knew then
I did in conscience cast my vote
My eyes were opened wide
I saw a brighter future
With the turning of the tide
Believing your sincerity
I stood boldly by your side
My hopes and dreams are shattered
With the knowledge that you lied
Pretending that you understood
The struggles I've been through
You promised to reward me
For my loyalty to you
But safe in your mighty fortress
Blinded by the view
The saber I placed in your hand
You used to run me through
The job you guaranteed me
Within your web of lies
Pales in its comparison
To the battered child who dies
Or the person less than perfect
Who's the human sacrifice
In the purge upon the people
With "restraint" as its disguise
The wounds you have inflicted
May scar me all my years
I am fearful of the future
Like so many of my peers
But i have a new awareness
That will overcome my fears
And I'm choosing my side wisely
As the day of reckoning nears
The feelings expressed in this next poem belong to no one in particular, but rather, are the feelings shared by many of the unemployed I've come to know.
Hearing "nobody cares about my problems". is not uncommon. It's not nex]cessarily true, but to soemone who cannot see the work being carried out on their behalf it can indeed seem that way.
THE HANGMAN
Once I walked with dignity
My head was high and proud
My life was filled with purpose
And I mingled with the crowd
Now I wake each morning
And force myself to rise
To walk into the bathroom
And face accusing eyes
The eyes that used to twinkle
That once were filled with hope
Tell me of their judgement
And I face the hangman's rope
The hangman is my weary wife
Who kisses me hello
She sits among the shattered dreams
We had so long ago
The hang man is the faces
Of my hungry little brood
Who ask the silent question
"Why can't we have food?"
The hangman waits to greet me
When I go to beg for alms
He confirms my failure
In charitable terms
The hang man is my "brother"
Who in his apathy
Does not stand beside me
In our battle to be free
He sits beneath the tables
Of the Barons and their sons
He waits for them to gorge themselves
Then gathers up their crumbs
Religious organizations have played a monumental role as supporters of the underprivilged. The effects of "restraint" programs have created a new breed of unemployed and most churches have risen to the challenge.
A chance remark by a member of a congregation and the debate that followed made me realize that not all church members are charitable, and not all charitable people are members of churches.
The next two poems deal with my personal view of some people's view of Christianity, and are not intended to offend or in any way minimize the work being done by religious groups.
These two poems were used by a local minister as part of his sermon.
So you are a Christian?
You say you are a Christian
Then tell me what you've done
To comfort and aid your fellow man
I know you go to services
I'm sure you say a prayer
But are you really confident you've done the best you can?
Look among your group of friends
Are they more or less like you?
Comfortably living righteously
Cleansed of past discretion
Forgiven all their sins
Collectively oblivious of what they do not see
HE was never satisfied
HE always strove for more
HE sought out the hungry and the poor
Shared his love and riches
Took the lepers hand
Welcomed both the drunkard and the whore
Ask yourself a question "Have you walked among the poor?"
